One of the biggest topics that are debated between brides and families is the topic of children. Should children be at the wedding? How old is classified an adult to be included? Can you invite one child and not the other? Is is a hot topic and one rough with disagreement and personal opinions.
More and more couples waiting to get married, opting for a house and a family before taking the walk down the aisle.
There has also been a rise in two individuals with children marrying creating a blended family.
These two point have lead to new ideas in the importance of children at weddings.
Traditionally children are involved in the wedding as flower girls and Paige boys, they may be part of the ceremony, but many people opt to no invite children to the reception part of the day.
Many couples justifying this by stating it is a long day, children get tired and this could lead to tantrums of tired children at the reception. This is still a consensus amongst couples today. Fearing that their day may be ruined by crying children, or children running around during speeches, or the ceremony itself.
Children in the Wedding
It is great to have children in your wedding party, or part of the ceremony in some capacity. They are an important part of the family and can feel excluded if they are not called upon to take part.
There are many rituals that can take place that involve whole families to some capacity. This can include sand ceremony, where each person takes a different colored sand and pours it into a bottle, symbolizing the coming together of the family as one. This can also be done with colored stones, a toy such as Lego the options are endless.
Flower girls and Paige boys are also still widely used, but provisions can be made to ensure the children are more comfortable, this includes having chairs for them in the front row to sit on at the ceremony instead of having them stand.
Some brides also choose to have their children walk them down the aisle. This is especially great if there are no surviving parents of the bride and the child is old enough. This could be a significant part of the child’s life as the child feels they have a say as they agreed to ‘give’ their mother away.
Children at the Reception
This is a hot topic, many brides are opting for a child free wedding, others only inviting children part of the immediate family, or those in the wedding party.
It is your choice if you would like children at the wedding or not.
Personally when I was planning my wedding I worried of having children, I spoke to some of my guests who have children and the response I got was overwhelmingly supportive. I never thought of it, but many parents may opt to leave their children at home on the day of the wedding as it is a special day out for the parents and they would like to relax and enjoy the day, not have to worry about their children causing problems.
There are a few points to consider when inviting children such as:
- Number limitations at the wedding
- Length and place of ceremony and reception
- Table places
- Age of the children
- Number of children within a family (If there is a family of 4 children all 4 children should or should not be invited)
If you choose to have children at your wedding there are a few considerations that you can make in order to subside fears of children running a muck, or causing disruptions during the key events of the day:
- Have a child’s table or some people choose to have a children’s room with coloring books, pencils and activities
- Hiring an entertainer to entertain the children such as face painting, balloon animals etc.
- Hire a babysitter to look after the children
- Have the children eat during the important speeches at the reception
- While the parents are eating, have children’s song playing that the children can dance to or a game for them to play like musical freeze
- Have an age limit for children that you are inviting? Some brides will invite teenagers but not younger children as teenagers can observe the etiquette of event.
Children can bring joy and laughter to any occasion, but they can also be tired and upset due to the day being so long.
It is you choice if you would like children to or not to attend your wedding. Once you have made your decision be firm, do not be swayed by others opinions, your family and friends should honor and respect your choice.